On the photo is the logo of my website.
Compensating dreams
Are these from your heart’s desire; or are these compensating some lack within you?
It’s one thing to have something just for fun and true desire or to pursue something out of lack.
Observations from the last time I went back to overseas: People who didn’t have much in their childhood, obviously make a great deal out of all physical possessions. By 30 years old they will have a house, fancy cars and 2 children with somebody they still do not want to marry.
They get depressed, and they go on antidepressants; no one knows why; they themselves do not know why; everything seems to be fine. They have everything they wanted. Stuck, they thought that’s all they ever wanted.
It was never their heart’s desire; all that was created to compensate for what they didn’t have or was lacking in their childhood, they made a life goal out of it.
On the other end of it, they are 30 years old, and they do not have anything to show off with, no physical possessions, no partner, and no children. There is just enormous guilt. The guilt is there just because everyone else has created something tangible.
Good news for you, if it’s you! You are where you are; you have had all this time to create You, and you have worked, or studied or made career or maybe travelled. The only reason why you do not have all that stuff is it was never your priority so far. Now what? If you feel like it, then go for it; get all this stuff!
I used to say everything is too late in my life when I was 25. Obviously, it was far from the truth. J But that’s what I was telling to myself. So, what lies are you telling yourself that are curbing your enthusiasm? Remember, heavy thought is a lie and light is right for you.
The ones who had priorities on materialistic goodies; it’s time to start finding out who you are, and what are your heart desires beyond what you’ve asked for so far. Everything you’ve got so far is not all in life. It’s just a beginning. Many people that have reached their biggest goals think that it’s all there is. Some super stars have killed themselves thinking they’ve reached the ceiling. That is Never true. Let life surprise you; do not get depressed! Invite more, create more by being more.
Compensating dreams are also the ones; we try to pursue something that someone, perhaps our parents or teachers or society, said we cannot get, is hard or impossible to achieve. These are not for us, our heart’s desires, but these are for proving that we can, and, therefore, the end result is never satisfying. It could be a career, ‘a perfect family’ or material things. I’m so guilty in that one, and to be honest, nothing chosen from this point has worked. I also do not have anyone to blame it on. I most likely put it all on me by myself.
What if now is the time to start living your own dreams?
With every choice you make, ask: Am I avoiding me or choosing me by making that choice?
Ps if you aren’t choosing you then why should anyone else?
What creates more, choosing this or choosing that?
Am I kind to myself by choosing it?
Nothing is lost; everyone is different, and has their ‘stuff’ on their own time. We tend to compare ourselves so often, but how you compare anyone’s life? People who have seen the world and gained knowledge or people who have had their travels through raising children?
So, next time before you go to a self-blame ask yourself: Has it truly been my priority ever before, or have I realized it just became one? Leave aside other people’s opinions; judgements (the noise) — that’s the way to You.
What if there aren’t mistakes? It’s been evolvement to this moment. This moment of realization, could be the beginning of something.
You have been getting ready to be ready to be ready to get awareness, clarity, how good is that???
Isn’t it sweet to know now…
❤️