How was your 2021?
It’s almost over now.
I have had ups and downs almost died twice in the traffic, nearly got hit by a truck in May and just recently motorbike stopped 5 cm from touching my feet. I was stalled on the pedestrian crossing about to rise my hands, there was no time anymore to step away, 6 rows of cars witnessing accident to happen and amazingly it still managed to stop without actually touching my skin just about. I had a green light, he was on the second line, so did not notice me and most likely thought he will get through although it was red light already. In both cases it was like something was suddenly interfering, and stopped these vehicles. It was impossible becoming possible.
I was upset about this as I thought maybe it’s a sign I should back off, although wasn’t sure back off from what? From learning to be happy? Creating my life? Choosing for me in order to get to a better place to create greater for everyone?
It also made me think that if I should die, I am happy and grateful for what I’ve had. It’s been authentic. It all could have been easier, more fun but it has been getting better year after year. The only regret would have been the things that had not happen yet, things and people not occurred in my life, I know I tried. I have dreams for many lifetimes. What would it take to make it happen now instead?
Sorry, it got a bit morbid or is it awareness? I think this thought quite often though.
I have always felt I am not here forever; no one is but it’s a weird time perception, loud awareness there, especially with choices I have made. For example, back at the time every time I had a fight with my boyfriend I cried because of the lost time, because time used so poorly, not because of the fight itself as I knew it always happened to get to a greater. These were rather arguments, never fights really, my tolerance to fights is non-existent anyway. Most times I went out to have a 2-hour walk, to walk out the words I did not want to say and regret afterwards. Ps things always worked out after that as by magic although I never knew how to move forward from what was going on at that moment.
Anyway, who does that, cry because of the lost time?
On the other hand, I do not have any perception about people’s or my own age I just see people as people, I do not think about teenagers as teenagers but as Labelled people, I was not a ‘classical teenager’ (apart from ripped jeans and heavy boots) 🙂 so why should others be, or babies they are humans too, actually, very much aware just not knowing the rules of this messed up world yet.
So many learnings this year it has been huge really.
I started doing some physical work and it has changed all the dynamics of my mind and body, it has served many different purposes. It’s great, feeling stronger in my body it was a rocky start of course for an office rat, keeping up with eating enough, nap before and after the work. I have done all the fitness classes and the gym 4 times plus per week in my life, so it has to serve something different this time around.
Do you have too much energy that tends to lead to destructive thinking, and therefore destructive …everything? What if you start moving your body? What would that create?
I have learned to laugh again, fool around like a 5-y old in times, and got into unbelievable cheekiness that’s been hidden for so long (as forever) which is Big. Grateful! If that’s what is change, I am going to have more of it.
What would it be like to be childlike joy You truly are?
Are you having your life or living your life? repeat 10X
Every win has been related to people as well as fails.
I have met many and lost people this year. It’s a lesson for me, they knew they’re different and yet not ready to get that, therefore not accepting the differences of others. I saw something in them they couldn’t see themselves. Some keep choosing suffering drama and trauma keep trying to fit in, to be like all the robots that are doing the right and correct thing within this reality. Choosing for others not for themselves, choosing suffering.
To be grateful for 2021?
What were your joy moments of this year? What were your happiest moments?
What or who made you smile?
What or who made you feel appreciated just for being you in your highs and lows?
What or who made you grateful?
What was your revolutionary realisation?
What if you could live your life like these moments? What would it take? What can you change/choose now to make it happen?
It takes a commitment to become joyful, yet nobody ever teaches you that if anything, they try to cut it back. It also takes responsibility, you realise everything in your life is your own creation – want different results get committed changing your thoughts, vibrations, people, surroundings whatever it takes to get into your happy. Weirdly enough it takes practice too as we have been wired to put our attention to a negativity.
Starting to create from that, totally different place will create a different life for you and to people around you. If you do not choose you why should anyone? Also, what if you can choose again and again and again, as choice is never finite? (That requires explanation).
Remember, what makes you feel lighter or fun is the step to take, even if you do not know where it’s going to take you ( not knowing the end result or outcome) then take another step that feels light, and another…joyful steps can lead to…??? 🙂💫🌌🌌🌠🌠
What if this is not wrong, you’re asking for?
What magic are you that you haven’t been willing to actualise?
Bring it on 2022